cosmic jackie in philly was right. i like this way too much to not have been a dandy in atleast one of my past lives.

i keep singing this in a falsetto while changing the diaper of a screaming hungarian woman at work. it doesn't deter her, but her eyes always widen and zero in on me while i do it. also, i want her crown.
 

(@work, 3 am, severely underslept/overworked/angry/

emotional/gay pms-ing, trying to change the diaper of my favorite elder paraplegic zombie doll)
HER: (mouth moves) ..... ...... .....
ME: did you say something?
HER: ....... ......... ......
ME: what?
HER: .... ......
ME: uh? one more time? (puts ear right by her mouth)
HER: (rasps/croaks/whispers) i'm...so happy..i have..you..to..take care of...me...
ME: (smiling/crying)
HER: ...sorry

on tour. woke up alone in the dark last night in a van with no lights after having a series of short nightmares about murder, ineptly disposing of bodyparts& botching fake 911 phonecalls. looked over & saw lying next to me in the van is an old woman. i reach a shaky hand over to her face to feel if she is real&her skin crumbles like a stale pastry.i start shrieking,can't figure out the door,scream more,climb out the window, stand in driveway,realize i am an idiot.
ps: this is my band