NEW YORK CRONE: (grabs my arm suddenly) dear god!
ME: what?
HER: what? whaddaya mean 'what'? what the hell did you do to yourself?!
ME: oh i got a tattoo. it's not done.
HER: (scowling) well what is it?
ME: it's a blindfolded queen design based on a baroque instrument scroll--
HER: (raising eyebrows) a queen? aren't you worried people will think you're..y'know..(bends wrist flamboyantly)
ME: gay? no that's never been a problem.
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