sat fantasizing at a stupid mantatory work meeting today about a zombie apocalypse movie set in a nursing home. it all happens on graveyard shift. i am the only one in the lone surviving building under 65 when disaster strikes and all of portland is suddenly chewed brainless in their sleep. not that you could tell. the morning comes. i am pissed no one relieves me. i try to walk out of my job but stop when i see a city's worth of zombies rattling the front door glass as the sun rises. senior citizens take little notice and ask when mass and bingo is. i board up the windows with the help of my very confused old ladies. we form a golden girls style army weilding fireaxes maintenance tools and kitchen utensils. depends, painpills and coffee are hoarded. naturally, a zombie has been hiding among us all along and chaos ensues. gore splatters sequin sweaters in the worst ways . hearts break and/or are eaten. both the cooperation and apathy toward fighting back varies from resident to resident and reveals their broad range of attitudes toward dying. it will be better than cocoon i swear. you will cry your eyes out. teenage boys will obsess over the cgi free special effects. tactless metal bands will sample the dialogue. and yes, i know what a goddamn blood borne pathogen is you idiot i am state certified. why does this require a meeting at 10 am on my day off?
it's not so much my coworkers as the old folks i fixated and placed weird endurance/survival bets on. a lot of factors calculated in, not necessarily just physical stamina and strength. mostly desire to live, whether it be due to an outright fear of death or wanting to stick around for a specific visitor or just being too dementia ridden to understand they were dying. i wondered what ones would put up the most resistance and which ones would welcome the relief of dying. and yeah, there is a sadist in me that liked the mental image of a brittle old man in a walker trying to "outrun" a slow lurching zombie down a long hallway in one of the most torturously slow and suspenseful chase scenes i can envision. i don't know. it was a welcome distraction.i just need to write in a gay sex scene with the building's freshly zombified hot straight maintenace man and i will have a well rounded screenplay.
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