(@work, two shifts ago, on zero sleep, imitation haldol shuffling my way through a round of 4am room checks. suddenly a door creeks opens in the hallway behind me)
BUTCH VEST INSOMNIAC GRANNY: (calling out) hey fella. can y'cmere a second?
ME: ofcourse. what do you need?
HER: i need you to get some tissues out of m'closet.
ME: ok (entering room, flipping on light in said closet, and finding no tis sue) oh, i'm not seeing any. looks like you're out.
HER: i can't ever find nothing in m'closet!
ME: it's ok. i'll get you some more. do you need anything else while i'm here?
HER: will you do something about the gal?
ME: the what?
HER: the gal. i'lready told you about her. she comes in m'room, sits down in m'chair, stares at me..
ME: rright. the one who you said looks just like you. um..what about her?
HER: can you do something?
ME: well...uh..where is she now?
HER: in m'bed.
 ME: (turning around, and noticing ANOTHER old woman sleeping soundly) what the-- HER: see i told ya. she been there all night. n'i just wanna--
ME: (looking around) hey i think i know why we can't find tissues.
HER: whys that?
ME: cause we are in someone else's room.